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OPEN LETTER TO A BESTFRIEND💓

To bestfriend I fell in love with,

 I've written long paragraphs and poetries for you, I've written songs and annoyed you, we've laughed together,we had deep talks. We made memories. We fought, and in the end we were back, together, laughing and teasing.
 But this time no silly jokes, no laughs, no pulling each other's legs, this time I want to pour my heart...

 Although you were my best friend, I shared almost everything with you, but there was so much left, and I didn't realize it until I felt...I felt something, I craved for your presence way too much, I don't know, but all I did was wanting to stare you, without stopping, without blinking. Everytime we had a fight, I knew either of us will make their way back...

You were there when literally no one was, nobody to go to.. nobody to give a damn, even the people who claimed will be there through my hard times, they said they are much messed and left..

 I know you were there, you used to make me smile and even laugh just over texts...

Your voice was thing other girls fell for, and I laughed, until I found that soothing enough..

Yes I never said I loved you, more than a best friend, maybe then, I didn't.. or I was scared enough to tell you I did.
 I was afraid to lose you, I know I'm a mess, I'm the girl no one wants to be with, the one with negative vibes and rude behavior.. But trust me since the day you entered my life everything changed.I have lived like lived, I left behind my past maybe for a while but yes I did... I felt like going on in my life. Every single time I felt low, you just didn't make me laugh, you were healing me, and yes I never told you that, because I myself didn't know that..
The songs you sung to me, they pulled my heart strings more than original ones did.
And of course how can I forget that when I asked you something you didn't want to answer, you used to say maybe, maybe not. I used to laugh hard.
It was so beautiful, that I can't even describe them in these words.

And then one day, I the mess,messed up things... I told you i loved you, but I realized you didn't love me that way, yes it broke me, yeah it tore me apart, I could feel something stabbed my chest. I felt nauseous. Yes I did, yes it did hurt. But, still I accepted one sided love, I started craving for your presence, for the touch of yours, and our bond deepened, I was getting addicted to you day by day. And trust me it didn't hurt that much again, I wanted to spend every damn second in your embrace, your smile melted the pain my soul contained.
But then....one day you decided to leave. All of sudden. Without giving me a reason. In a blink. You left. You were gone. I was numb. I was broken. I felt my heart ripped off my chest. It was way worse than that. You didn't pick up my calls. You didn't reply my texts. You blocked me. And trust me I was breaking down, my soul was giving up. I felt choked. Mental breakdowns. Panic attacks. And the saddest thing was you were the one who healed my wounds and now you became the one to dig them deeper. I still remember last call. When you said you're going to miss me....
And I asked you for a million times to stay, but you didn't. Since that day I stopped showing I cared. But deep down didn't we both know i was dying for your smile?
I'm still waiting.... And I hope you'll come. Maybe , maybe not. *Fakes a laugh*
But yeah remember what Jane Austen said?
' Whatever our souls are made up of yours and mine are the same'.

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