LOST POETRY PAGES

I grab the sharpest knife, Through my wrist I want to drive, Let go of everything, end my life... Count the dots, of each reason, Spring dancing through summer season... Take my hand we'd dance once more, Before I dive into the ocean, But right now I'm standing on shore, I want to get rid of the emotion, Make me feel so low, A cut or two or a hundred, Until I fall on the floor, The rivers of red.. But you come knocking through the door, You try to break it down, then you try window, I let go of my soul so slow... You pick me up rush to your car, It's dazzling fast and we're far, Sun going back to the sea, I turn to you , your smile is all I want to see, My head on your shoulder, your eyes blurry, Your tee soaked white to red blood, You drive recklessly in night so starry, You hold my wrist tight to stop the flood, You curse yourself for doing it all, You are about to give up you're about to fall, But beloved it wasn't just you, The reasons were many, nothing new

I wanted to hold you tight, I wanted to tell you it's gonna be alright, I wanted to tell you this a just a gloomy night. I wanted you to turn your darkness into light. I wanted to gather those broken pieces, The heart so shattered the soul so wounded, I wanted to plant some kisses, On those scars of yours, so messed. But wait why did you break me? I gave up I fell on knee, I felt intense pain in my heart, I wanted to cure and you wanted to hurt? You left me, and I was numb. I was trying to heal you, Was I so dumb? Or you wanted someone new?

I've been with bodies that weren't yours, I've been holding people which ain't mine, I've kissed lips which ain't yours, I've been pushed off the line. I've been through the hell, I've been through heaven of your embrace, I've been mesmerized by your smell, I've been pushed off the ledge of your grace, I've been casted spells, I've been in wars screaming pain, I've been in the dark of bloody rain, I've been hearing your voice over it all, I've been ripping off my soul, I've been dying to be held by you... I don't want to put you in 'he left too', I've been smiling to strangers walking, I've been all while faking, I've been fucking all around without you by my side, I've been painting strokes of lust to hide, I've been drowning in abysmal ocean to die, I've been searching for your eyes. I've been takin drugs ,getting high.. I've been caressing those beautiful lies...  But w

YOU ARE TRYING TO FIND PAIN? GO AHEAD TURN MY DIARY PAGES... HAVE A MORNING GLANCE AT MY PILLOW LOOK DEEP INTO MY EYES LOOK BEYOND MY SMILE FEEL MY WORDS DON'T READ THEM MAYBE YOU COULD KNOW ME A BIT THEN

I DON'T MAKE ANYONE STAY IF THEY'RE LEAVING MY LIFE I'M OKAY WITH IT BUT IF I MADE AN EFFORT TO MAKE YOU STAY THEN UK...WHAT DO I FEEL FOR YA                                                                             💔

YOU KNOW WHY I FELL FOR YOU? BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO STAY BY MY DARK AND WEAK SIDE AND MADE IT BRIGHTER

LOVE IS LIKE A DAGGER IT WILL KILL YOU EVENTUALLY JUST IF YOU TAKE OUT AT RIGHT MOMENT YOU'D DIE SOONER IN PAIN AND LATER OF A COLD DEATH

SHE WAS GIRL OF DREAMS, OH, BUT YOU WERE INSOMANIAC